Four good reasons not to feel guilty for celebrating Christmas this year

We went into planning an Enjoy at Home Christmas Dinner with some trepidation - with so many across the country struggling right now, celebrating anything out loud needs some context. The most obvious reason for optimism is that we are inexorably heading toward the finish of a year we can’t wait to see in the rear view mirror, but here you go: four stand alone reasons to spend some time enjoying the notion, the magic, the much needed hopefulness in the Holiday Season 2020.

1. Anything that strengthens connection right now is good - in spite of the fact that raising a glass on Zoom is not what any of us ever envisioned for Christmas, certainly not for New Year’s Eve. Still, if, on the other side of that screen you get to see beloved relatives and friends, it’s going to be a shot in the arm while we patiently await a real shot in the arm that can actually bring us together in person again.

2. Kids sure aren’t to blame for what’s happening in the world right now, and they have reasons to love Christmas that the pandemic shouldn’t touch. Whatever your feeling about shopping mall Santas and the commercialization of Christmas, this is a holiday full of the best kind of wistful thinking, and it comes with the tag line “don’t be naughty, be nice.” There’s a soft moral in there that’s good to be reminded of, whatever your age.

3. If you are blessed enough to be healthy and financially secure this holiday season, it’s a great time to spread some of that wealth around your community. For us it’s about keeping people employed doing what they love - cooking and farming and making things - but every shop in Healdsburg, Windsor, Cloverdale, Santa Rosa - every town in our beautiful part of California - will tell you the same thing: the big box companies will survive this pandemic. We might not. Support small retail this Holiday, enjoy safe distance dining and if we all must pivot to TO GO then patronize your favorite local restaurants, especially those that support the food shed. It will make you feel good; it will certainly make all of us feel good.

4. This is the big one. Celebrating lifts the spirits, great food and drink feeds the soul, so try to find a way to make a small but joyful noise this Holiday. We had incredible feedback from our sold out Thanksgiving feast, but we are still finding our way through this new dining paradigm, as you are. Planning the menu wasn’t hard - Jordan loves celebration meals (take a look, below) but initially we weren’t feeling it. Then Chef Neidy and I started playing around with antique Christmas decorations, pâte à choux, little towers of meringue entwined with sparkly ribbon and something crazy happened. Even the god awful red feathers which no one admits to buying years ago but make their return year after year rewarded us with delight. It was momentary, but inspirational. Neidy is going to bake seven different varieties of Christmas cookies with recipes from around the world for Christmas Dinner. Jordan has sourced beautiful hams - in fact the entire meal will be sourced from Sonoma County. Take a look at the full menu below, and keep scrolling for very special bottle offerings. We are thrilled to have Evan Hufford and Ryan Knowles - both previously at Single Thread - as our Somms in residence this year. In the run up to the holidays, Evan has made it his special mission to root through our cellars and pull some great bottles out to share. Meanwhile, over in Barland, Terra’s incredible Three Generation Punch will be included with the dinner and we are planning to shake up some classics like Why Bears Do It with fresh apple juice from the 2020 harvest and a new Tequila FLIRT. We are also happy to send you Barndiva versions of whatever libations you have in mind for the holidays.

Booking for the dinner is now live on the website. We’d love to cook for you. Cheers!

@saverestaurants #staytuned #stayhealthy @stayhealdsburg #healdsburgchamber #eattheview #barndiva #togo #healdsburg #thisishealdsburg #sonomacounty #mendocinocounty #sommtablehealdsburg #sonomastrong #ediblemarinwc #lovehealdsburg @barndivahealdsburg @sonomamag @winecountry @slowfoodusa @socomeatco

Why grow flowers?

Most obsessions are formed early in life, but 40 years into a passion for gardening which has led me down a fragrant, if financially imprudent path, I’m still wondering how I got here. Until the age of ten my floral universe was pretty much a blank, relegated to what I saw at weddings or funerals. Except for my friend Dave's crazy uncle who grew orchids in a greenhouse he rarely left, no one I knew had a house full of roses, much less a garden to cut them from. 

As it happens, I had been born somewhere with exotic, sensual flora and sometimes, exploring the canyons above the Pacific, I’d come across a bloom growing wild that stirred a memory. Then one afternoon on a school trip to the newly opened LA County Museum I wandered away from the group and found myself in a room filled with Dutch still life paintings. A canvas on the far wall depicted flowers in a vase, but oh, what extraordinary things they were - tight buds, opulent blooms, and one wilting rose whose molding petals were so luminous they seemed rendered in pearl. There were a few pieces of fruit on the table beneath the vase, grapes and a half eaten pear which had begun to rot, drawing a single black fly with filigree wings as intricate as old lace, transparent as glass. There was nothing still about the painting. It pulsated with dangerous, beautiful life. 

From that moment on I began to really look at flowers - how their symmetry and myriad of textures delighted the eye and eased my brain, slaking a deep thirst for natural color that living life in the fast lane of big gray cities had engendered. It would be years before I wandered into the gardens at Sissinghurst wanting to know more about the kinship between Virginia Woolf and the great diarist and gardener Vita Sackville West and discovered in myself not just the need to look at beautiful gardens, but the desire to get my hands dirty. To echo, if only in the smallest way, some of the intrinsic beauty I began to see in great gardens all over the world.

I've always felt a connection with the untamable parts of the natural world. Jungles, forests, and bodies of water you cannot see across test one's bravery, feed a boy's own (and girl's!) desire for adventure - they astound with a fearsome, beautiful inevitability. The untamed world is a Russian novel. A tended, truly loved garden, no matter how large or small, is a middling poem striving to be a great haiku.

And while the pride I've felt harvesting crops and orchards is inestimable, it's prosaic. Grow food and the result, a full stomach, is its own reward. A flower garden feeds something else. You must suffer through many cuts and something that looks an awful lot like death to get there, but as counter intuitive as it seems the end result - a garden in bloom -  does not just fill you with it's beauty, it's also incredibly optimistic. For a soul like mine that leaned toward the melancholic, flowering gardens held a sort of salvation. They were the opposite of Virginia's pocketful of stones. 

In a wonderful short piece which appeared in the NY Times Magazine last June the horticulturist Umberto Pasti writes “To become a gardener means to try, to fail, to stubbornly plug away at something, to endure serious disappointments and small triumphs that encourage you to try and fail again.” It also sounds like the quintessential definition of a romantic. Or an artist. Or a mother.

What the garden doesn’t do in so many words, that partners and children can and do, is talk back. It speaks of itself or for itself, but in its total obliviousness to your imprudence in trying to control it, frees you in a way that loved ones and work - which depend on approbation -  cannot. It encourages you to risk, to take chances. Even when some grand plan fails, you know winter is coming and with it rain and spring and something remarkable rising from the soil. It’s hard to remember that happiness follows sorrow in life, but it can and more often than not does. The garden is a reminder of this, and the great truth that sometimes what doesn’t grow in one place often thrives in another. 

For me, time spent in the gardens is a guiltless way to recharge an appetite for joy and in a roundabout way, to dig away at sorrow. It's a place where you learn not to take yourself too seriously. It may be a garden you've created and encouraged to thrive, but Nature rules and you inevitably contend with the truth that you are not much more than a part of the equation. I see this as a good thing. Being constantly self-referential is a boomerang, not a kite.  

Of course once you succumb to a garden’s magic, it will take all you have to give it, in both time and money. I could have circled the globe a dozen times for the amount I’ve spend in four decades fighting, then learning to work in tandem with the wild forests that surround our gardens on Greenwood Ridge. It has never felt, not for an instant, like time or money ill spent. The flower gardens have been my emotional tuning fork in life. Just below the sound of the wind and in among the bees, whose buzzing happily attests my irrelevance, is a place where I can really hear myself think. 

There is a prescient line in Sherry Turkle’s Ted Talk about how technology has made being alone feel like a problem that needs to be solved. It isn’t, it’s a solution, for to be comfortable in your own skin and to do so (sometimes at least) without other people is to be receptive to a state of being honestly alive, free from false exigencies. 

The art of being yourself and losing yourself, this is what I find when I wander my gardens now, especially in the early morning or just before dark. Whether I am filling buckets for the restaurant arrangements, raising the camera, or just wandering, I do not really have a predetermined agenda. For while gardening reawakens the recognition that all we have is time, it reaffirms there is no time to waste. The preciousness of the present is so easily lost in the rushed way we are incessantly encouraged to live our lives, it's a message you need to hear whatever your age. I think this was the whisper I heard from that painted vase of flowers I came upon so many years ago. In any case, it is a meditation that lingers.

Moving forward...

2016 is going to be an even more exciting year for florals in Barndiva.  

For the past two years Daniel Carlson has been Head Mover of Soil at the farm and Instigator in Chief behind apple cider production, while overseeing the edible floral beds in the Studio Garden.  In the same time frame he has also been designing extraordinary floral displays for weddings and private parties across the country on his own and under the auspices of our great friend Danielle Rowe at Brown Paper Design. This year Dan will launch an in-house floral program at Barndiva and offer his exquisitely designed natural arrangements to all of Barndiva's dinner parties and weddings, large and small. He can be reached directly through his new website: www.dcwestgarden.com

A short list of "local" FLORAL RESOURCES

NOW is the time to start thinking about expanding or even starting a flower garden. Some of our favorite flower farms and nurseries offer retail accounts and fantastic educational opportunities. When it comes to buying seeds and flats remember: Like most everything else in life, you get what you pay for.

Dragonfly Floral is both a resource and an inspiration, it always tops our local list. They are not a nursery but do everything else: you can order an arrangement to be delivered, buy loose blooms directly from the farm, take a class or a degree oriented series, or ask advice from Bonnie Z, Dragonfly's beloved owner and a muse for three generations of Healdsburg gardeners. You're even welcome to stop and smell the roses in their magnificent gardens on Westside Road. www.dragonflyhealdsburg.com

Emerisa  is a great nursery that works both wholesale and retail lanes Don't expect a lot of help- do your homework first. www.emerisa.com

Goodness Grows in Boonville is Dan and Lukka's favorite "local" nursery in Anderson Valley, always helpful and they will order for you. 11201 Anderson Valley Way, Boonville.

Digging Dog Nursery all the way out in Albion is an acquired taste, but one you should acquire if you have any esoteric aspirations for your garden at all. Check they're open, and don't expect a lot of help, but it's always worth a visit for their unique plants. www.diggingdog.com

Occidental Arts and Ecology  - Become a member. Their plant sales in spring - though they have others- is a rite of passage. But get there early and leave time for a walk.  (Just don't trust they can look after your stash, even once you pay. Stuff your treasures in a back seat, with the window cracked.) www.oaec.org

CalFlora is worth a trip because it's one of the Bay Area's oldest California native plant nurseries. www.calfloranursery.com

Even farther down the road in Richmond but also worth the trip is Annie's Annuals for it's impressive table displays. They always have plants in all stages of bloom, so you can see what you're committing to.  www.anniesannuals.com

Finally, a second organic local farm where you can source superb cut flowers. Front Porch is a relative newcomer to the scene, but driven by the flower mad Mimi Buckley it has become one of our favorite suppliers. Front Porch grows over 60 varieties throughout the year for events, but they are equally happy to fill small custom orders that can be picked up at their beautiful farm. Contact zoe@fpfarm.com